Done waiting to exhale
You know, most people think I am the most stiff person there is in the world. Most may think I am kefi-deprived, who insists on making hospital corner ends and neatly stacked books from A-Z. I’m not.
Initially people think that the combination of my monobrow, towering (as if!) height, huge build, and proverbial pout is a perfect recipe for a catty, snobbish, intimidating person who has a huge chance of having some stick up her *cough*. Yeah, well, maybe… and maybe not. Yeah, okay so I can be “maldita”. However, deprived from kefi, I am not. Suppressed, I am. That’s all.
Here, I would like to share a post that I made somewhere out there, to better explain myself:
A great pity how I gave up my coloring pens in favor of the GTech .3. I should have known I’d be abandoning my heart and soul when I gave up as I did.
Critics, here and there, told me to stop drawing flowers and coloring outside the lines. They said I’m too childish, too unrestrained, too crazy to be understood. So I changed. Kissed the paints, colors, and pens goodbye, and settled for the black ink and crisp paper.
Despite the restrained demeanor, the steady tapping keys and passionless words, it still gets messy at times. Wonderful.
To set my soul free. I’ve learned somehow from a muse, to hell with those who mock me. My words have been locked in chains for so long. I’m setting it free, even for a while, just to let my heart breathe.
= = =
I’ve always been afraid of pointing fingers, disapproving frowns, shaken heads, and raised eyebrows. Inside I’ve always wanted to fight back. Afraid, still very afraid. Of course time has carried me through the wind, yet those gnarled hands of restraint still hold my foot. I wish to be free.. I wish to be.. ME.
That post was written May 11, 2008. Those thoughts pretty much still rang true even until last month. However, I am ecstatic to say that I’ve somewhat let some strings go. I think there is nothing wrong with going back to what I used to love to do. Besides, even if some things may not fall under the “marketable” habits, I believe that somehow, these practices will become “marketable” some day.
So yeah, it started with photography, and then something, and then something, and then something, and now… I’m trying my hand with drawing (again). 
Wanna see a sample? Okay, here is my thirdartwork done using oil pastels. You can check out some of my drawings here.
For the first time in my entire life, I can honestly say that I am at peace, happy, and secure about myself. When I woke up this morning, the cool morning breeze greeted me and said, “Dude!! Let’s do this.” 
Dude! One of Dean’s fave words…Lurch, just like Dean and Sam never got tired of pursuing Lilith, never ever get tired of pursuing your passions ( far out akong analogy, pero what the heck!)… at the end of the day, you are the only one responsible for your actions, so be responsible for the things that make you happy!
mangayo ko ug drawing hehhehe
Inhale na pud! Love your drawings!
@joselle: hrhrhr.. dude! totally!
@dan: sure.. harharhar.. if i ever get the courage to share ..
@miss feyoh: hehehehe :* i love that you are always supportive *hugs*