The bottle [I miss you]
I wonder how it feels to get utterly wasted. Oh I used to drink, yes. But getting really drunk? Not yet. I’ve always wanted to try to achieve that feeling, but somehow something is always holding me back. Either that or the fact that no matter how much I consume, I cannot seem to just fall into a deep wasteland. Tipsy, yes, but totally drunk. Nahh..
Still.. I would like to experience that. Perhaps these days it would take just a small dose of anything with alcohol in it to knock me off. However the idea that I have to take care of the babies in the middle of the night drives me to the opposite direction whenever drinks come my way. Could it be that I have said farewell to that stage of life? Although my mouth still waters awfully at the sight of those drinks. It makes my hands it, and all at once I just want to jump in and join the party. But the babies… they just keep holding me back.
Perhaps if I knew my limit these days, it would not be such a distance between me and the bottle. But… I dont know. For now, I would rather not test it. Although there have been numerous times when I’ve asked dhirrac to share for one bottle. Just one bottle. For old times’ sake. But when the bottle comes around, I pass. Perhaps I just cant trust myself right now. I dont want to be tipsy or anywhere in that area while the babies are still small. I dont want to drop Frankie or do stuff running on tipsy mode.
But still.. Ahh.. the bottle. *sigh*
snippets of vomit
I have the strongest desire to upheave the contents from the deepest recesses of my stomach in the direction of a newly discovered Dementor that has come to grace my life so suddenly. Of course I have been aware of this person’s Dementor-ish personality, but this time around, chocolate has not taken cared of the sick feeling whenever this person has caused the sunlight and happy thoughts to flee from my surroundings.
Then again, I am not that much of a bad person to inflict irreparable damage to a bridge connecting to friend, however vile he or she may be. As the lady with the twin-bearing-bump said, “I was raised by my mother well.” Mother or Grandmother, I do not desire to embarrass them through my actions. Oh but what I would give for that small chance!! BWAHAHAHAHA..!!
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In other news, I cannot seem to stop eating these days. Food just tastes sooooooooo good. But in the end, it leaves a small desire to for me to throw up the contents because I now feel like a blimp. bah.. must be hormones.
I’ve lost the gusto to write. I shall write more in the following days, but just not right now. I have pressing matters to think of, and more pain in the heart expected. 
wish me luck!
Beautiful day
It is a rare thing to wake up to the smell of burning wood and dying pigs and think to yourself, “what a wonderful day.” Yes, believe it or not, the first thing I thought when I woke up today was…”What a beautiful day!”
The first thing I did was text Daphy and Ibby a greeting. They are on their way to Dauin for scuba diving lessons from JM. I wished from the bottom of my broken heart that I could have gone along with them. But that is a different story.
Despite the sounds from the highway right next to our humble casa and the bridge over troubled waters, I can still hear the birds chirping!! Wow.. I never noticed that before, honestly. I wondered if I was imagining it or not, but I’m not! I seriously, seriously, seriously hear the birds! The birds over the radio, the pig squeals, Sophie’s yelling, cars and other motorized vehicles’ noise. Wow! So nice!!
I am glad I heard them over the noise. I thought I would never hear birds again. Crazy right? But I cant think of a time within this month that I saw a single bird. Cats, dogs, and rats maybe. But a bird? Not really. And this feeling of hearing the birds is making me happy. 
I hope you hear the birds, see the butterflies, and smell the flowers on your end today! Even for a day!
Have a beautiful day, everyone!!!
The young and the kawatan (robber)
The older people have this saying “tawaga na lang kog kawatan kaysa gulang!” [roughly translated "Id rather be called a theif than be referred to as old"].
From where I work, I have had the priviledge of rubbing elbows with people older than me. In fact, some of them are older than my mother, or the same age as my aunts. And for that, I have learned numerous things from them. Especially with regard to family life, wifehood, work ethics, among other things. And in the long run, I have suddenly felt quite old. I am pretty sure they will chop my head off if they read this, but this is an honest situation.
Let’s just say that I have come quite a long way from my days of being called the “baby” in our barkada. To the person who suddenly frog-leaped over the more mature ones and suddenly tackled more serious matters in my hands. In a way, that helped me prove to my peers that I was more mature than they thought. And in fact, more mature than they are. Perhaps, more jaded in a way now.
But the childish streak never actually left me. And this is perhaps one of my good traits. To be able to live as carefree at times and to be as jolly when I can. But be mature enough to handle things others are unable to handle at my age.
It is true. What they say, of how as children, we rush to grow up, and once we reached the point where we have our own problems and obstacles that we long to be children again. To be able to live life the way the children or the young do. I see these things in the eyes of those who are older. Who have pretty much grown up. They somehow feel foolish if they give in to certain childish moments. But I honestly think that is okay. I think that older people need to reconnect with their inner child at least a couple of hours everyday.
As far as I know, some of my peers are still aiming for maturity and growing up. I tell you, be glad that you havent gotten here yet. Try to achieve a balance of fun and laughter and responsibility. The bottom line, is, after all, responsibility.
I have come to realize that despite the bigger moments in my life where I feel weighed down by responsibility, that somehow I am young. Heck, I am still 23 years old! And for what its worth, I feel lighter and much much MUCH happier if I lived my age. In time, I will not have to go through extremes. In time, I will learn to trust little Lurchie who is clamoring to get out. I am scared to let her out because I am scared to death that if she does, the whole world would explode and everything I have worked hard for would blow up in my face. She is still there though. In her cage. I let her out once in a while, but always under a short leash. At least, for now, she has not gone into a comatose state.
Golden Compass:Punk Compass
Despite my somnolence last night, I managed to sit through the whole screenplay that is the Golden Compass. I had to. Especially since I was the one who would not stop harping about us watching it yesterday. And I would not have been in such a sleepy state if I did not pull in those extra hours of overtime work. Then again, in this little camp, there is such a thing as Mandatory Overtime.
Although I have my reservations regarding the movie, I must admit I found it quite interesting. Besides, to see the awestruck look Frankie had when saw Iorek Byrnison talk was priceless.
I wonder, where can I find an armoured bear for less than 100 pesos? A plain Polar bear would do, too! But only within that price range since anything bigger than that is WAY beyond my budget.
Now if I had a compass like that, it would definitely not be Gold. There are so many thieves running around these days that toting anything that glitters is like having Damocles’ sword over your head. What I would do is have it painted black with a hot pink skull designed on top with my name in neon green. That or I could have something in the lines of plaid, still with the hot pink skull and the neon printed name. And then it should be all shiny like those newly finished choppers by Paul Sr. of the Orange County Choppers guys.
I also want my own daemon. But I dont want something cute and furry or that like. At first, I wanted my daemon to be a Bullmastiff. Then I thought he would be too small. And so I was thinking along the lines of a lion or a white Siberian tiger. Then I settled for a Tyrannosaurus Rex. Now that would be the bomb! That is waaaaaaay cooler than a 100% sale on everything. That way, I wont get killed too easily. Unless of course some meteor hit Earth and it would go through extinction again. But that is another story.
Hah! The movie was quite good though. I mean, despite my close to sleeping state, I did manage to stay up and follow the plot. So it couldnt have been that bad eh? Although something is telling me to just go read the books instead. Perhaps my imagination would suit me better than simply watching it being interpreted for me.
Do I suggest that you watch it? Hmm.. Sure! Why not?! I suggest you see it for yourself. 
Ciao!
